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Sorry guys, I just have to get these out in the open for all to ENJOY!!

#1-It's mid afternoon in a yuppie bar on the 10th floor of a high rise downtown. There's only a few guys drinking this day, but one of 'em keeps telling the whole world how much he loves his beer! He says:"This beer is awesome!! I think I can fly when I drink this beer!!"

So, out the window he goes, drops like a rock, feet first, only when he gets to the second floor he swoops right in the window! Comes back up the elevator to the bar,and says "Damn, that's good beer!" He drinks another and does the whole thing over, including going right in the window at the second floor.

Another guy says he's drinking the same beer and he wants to fly! Before anyone can stop him he's out the window and a pile of guts on the asphalt below.

Bartender walks over to the first guy and says:"You know, you are a real jerk when you are drunk Superman!!"

#2- A drunk staggers out of the bar after drinking all afternoon. He can barely even stand up. He notices a nun walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. So he walks over to her.

BAM! Busts her nose with his fist. Then busts both lips. Grabs her and blacks one eye. She hits the dirt. He kicks her twice in the ribs. She is done for by now. So, he grabs her by the collar, drags her up face to face with him and says:
"You aren't so tough are you Batman!?"

DISCLAIMER:
These jokes are told in jest. Not meant to be offensive to ANYONE. So, if you are offended lighten up! It was only a JOKE!
 
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