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383 Posts
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can
prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and
that's it. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live
longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
***
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits
and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What
does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are
these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good
source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And
a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable slop.
***
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits
and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide
everything in the world into three categories:
animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that
beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on
the periodic table of elements, so that only
leaves one thing, right?
My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your
liquid vegetables.
***
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body
fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two
bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
***
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these
days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated
in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?
***
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if
you want a bigger stomach.
***
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you
may have had.
prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and
that's it. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live
longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
***
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits
and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What
does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are
these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good
source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And
a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable slop.
***
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits
and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide
everything in the world into three categories:
animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that
beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on
the periodic table of elements, so that only
leaves one thing, right?
My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your
liquid vegetables.
***
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body
fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two
bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
***
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these
days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated
in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?
***
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if
you want a bigger stomach.
***
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you
may have had.