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1. The main reason Santa Claus is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

2. I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman ,"Where's the self help section?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

3. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

4. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

5. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

6. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

7. Why do they put braile on drive-thru bank machines?

8. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

9. How do they get deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

10. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

11. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

12. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

13. Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

14. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

15. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteriods"?

16. Whose cruel idea was it for the word LISP to have a "S" in it?

17. If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

18. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

19. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

20. if a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....is he still wrong?
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