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... Among them there came one day a rascals who gave himself out as a pistolsmith, and said that he knew how to craft the most exquisite pistol imaginable. Not only was the metal work and finish uncommonly beautiful, but the pistol was made of stuff that had the peculiar property of becoming invisible to every person who was unfit for the office he held or who was exceptionally stupid.

"That must be a valuable pistol," thought the emperor... and he paid the swindler a handsome sum of money in advance, as he required.

As for him, he put up a workbench and pretended to be working, though there was nothing whatever on his bench. He called for a quantity of the finest materials of only the most precise tolerances, all of which went into his own bag, while he worked at an empty bench till late into the night.

"I should like to know how that pistolsmith is getting on with the stuff," thought the emperor... "I will send my faithful old prime minister to the pistolsmith."

So the worthy old minister went into the room where the swindler sat working at the empty bench. "Heaven save us!" thought the old man, opening his eyes wide. "Why, I can't see anything at all!" But he took care not to say so aloud....

"Well, sir, do you say nothing about the pistol?"... "Oh, it is most elegant, most beautiful!" said the dazed old man, as he peered through his spectacles. "What fine metal work, and what a gloriously beautiful finish! I will certainly tell the emperor how pleased I am with your craftsmanship."

"I am glad of that," said the pistolsmith.... And now the cheat called for more money, more parts, and more tools, to be able to proceed with the work, but he put it all into his own pocket... and he went on as before, working at the empty bench....

Everybody in town was talking of the splendid pistol. The emperor thought he would like to see it himself while it was still on the bench....

"What! " thought the emperor. "I see nothing at all. This is terrible! Am I a fool? Am I not fit to be emperor? Why nothing more dreadful could happen to me!"

"Oh, it is very pretty! It has my highest approval," the emperor said aloud....

His whole court gazed and gazed, each seeing no more than the others, but, like the emperor, they all exclaimed, "Oh, it is beautiful!" They even suggested to the emperor that he wear the splendid new pistol for the first time on the occasion of a great procession which was soon to take place....

The emperor gave the impostor an order of knighthood to be worn in his buttonhole and the title Gentleman Pistolsmith of the Imperial Court....

He pretended to take the pistol from the bench, he held it out in the air with his hands, and he polished away with a cloth that had nothing on it. At last he said, "Now the pistol is finished."

The emperor placed his pistol in his royal holster, and the rogue pretended to put on first one spare magazine and then another of the new ones he had pretended to make.... "How well his Majesty looks with his new pistol!" "How becoming it is!" cried all the courtiers in return. "That is a splendid pistol!"

"Well, I am ready," replied the emperor. "Doesn't my pistol look well?" and he turned around and around again before the mirror, to appear as if he were admiring his new pistol....

So the emperor went along in his procession... and everyone in the streets said, "How beautiful the emperor's new pistol is!.... And how well it is crafted!"

No one wanted to let it appear that he could see nothing, for that would prove him not fit for his post....

"BUT HE HAS NOTHING ON!" said a little child....

"But he has nothing on," cried all the people.

The emperor was startled by this, for he had a suspicion that they were right. But he thought, "I must face this out to the end and go on with the procession." So he held himself more stiffly than ever, and the chamberlains handed him his golden ammunition, for the pistol that was not there at all.


DD
 
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DD,
That was a very nice adaptation of a classic tale.
Might I mention the beauty of your pistol?
 
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Warning: This is not a real post, it is only a test.
If in the event you find this post to be too serious, please turn off your PC and go directly to the nearest news stand to purchase and read a magazine.

DD,
Your parody/parable has brought me to another satirical thought on the Emperor's new periodical and the Emperors new pistol smith.

-I think I have spotted a future Ichiro Nagata? I'll tell you what you let me have the Emperors new pistol for free and I will give you a center section feature with 3-5 pages in my new magazine the Invisible Hand gunner and a possible feature in a gun of the month give away in my sister publication Transparent Guns. By the way I am going to sell the pistol to a Japanese business man for $35 grand and keep the money for myself not my publisher, so please transfer it to my FFL in my name.
It is a really good deal for you as anyone who does not use my marketing agent has to pay $40k for those pages; if you use my agent with the feature “free” gun it will only cost you $5k.
By the way, please submit a double spaced single sided feature article in Word for windows format explaining the pistol with a signed release to reprint and use your material. Whom of my staff writers would you like to pen the article for you? What size groups should it shoot? Please note my highest paid “Big Name” writer will require a pistol for himself (if you choose to have him “write” the article) for an extremely reduced price (the shipping charges) flat fee, I must preserve my writer’s integrity and he must be able to state that he did in fact write you a check, something about public appearances and impartiality.
Don't worry the prices will not be invisible they will in fact be casually mentioned in a supporting and encouraging way and I will be sure to insinuate/compare your work to the finest Swiss watches and expensive stuff we can photograph.
Do you want to be known for making pistols for that commando team (only people who actually served in the Armed Forces know they must carry the Govt. Issue Sig Sauer 9mm pistols by law) if you advertise in a 1/4 page box ad for at least 6 issues paid in advance we will also photograph your equipment with some really cool black plastic/nylon and titanium stuff/gear and stress how your clients are some of the most Elite members of the tactical community?
Don’t worry my friend by the time I am done the Emperors new pistol will be known through out the land as "the" pistol and you will have enough orders to delay you for years, so you will need to raise your prices by 600% so you can afford your new celebrity and you will need to travel to the “Big” show I promote so you can take even more orders and deposits.
Oh, and one word of advice for the Emperors new pistol smith, don't cash the deposit checks until you begin the work.....
 

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DD, I will be honest, I do not like your pistol. The grips appear too thick, the ambi-safties I could do without, and the treatment to the slide...not my cup o tea. High marks for the beautiful leather she rides in though, stunning, really.
 
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