[Desert Dog]

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of $hit.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
8. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
   [/*:m:h0le6480]
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
19. What am I...flypaper for freaks!?
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
24. Do I look like a people person?
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
33. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
34. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
    [/*:m:h0le6480]
35. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.[/*:m:h0le6480]

DD

 

[buzz_knox]

Things I've actually said:

1. Would someone print out the vacant job listings so she (my secretary) can find somewhere to work she likes?

2. (To my boss who left on an emergency to get his carpet cleaned). No, I don't have an answer but I'm sure I will before I mail this off to the lawyer.

3. (To the same boss on the same occassion when he called in.) Well, we're still working on it. But don't worry, he called the head of the office and he's coming down to help out. :smile:

 

[John Forsyth]

Actually said in my office.

1) "I like my job, it's the people I hate."

2) "This is the only place that treats it's employees like contractors, and it's contractors like employees."

2) "I am only nice to one person a day. And today is not your day."

3) By ex-employee after being told he was fired, "If I had known it would mean my job, I would have been here every day."

4) "The trouble is that his mind wanders and it is too little to be out on it's own."

5) "If bull**** were music, this place would be a brass band."

6) "There are only two sure things in life. One, there is a God. Two, you are not him."

7) "Working here is like smoking marijuana, the harder you suck, the higher you get."

"(name withheld) has this management thing down. He hires people smarter than he is, but in his case it would be hard not to."

9) "If you're not confused, you don't know what's going on"

10) "What do you call an engineer with half a brain? A project manager."

11) "Quality will not cure stupidity"

12) "I thought this Quality System was OK until it started affecting my job."

 

[canuck]

What I actually said to my boss after I threw the company keys and credit cards on his desk:
"You couldn't organize a good F&%$ in a hoar house. Oh! and by the way the competion offered me 30% more to go work for them. Have a nice day :smile:"

_________________
There isn't anything in here worth losing your life over!

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: canuck on 2001-05-01 22:45 ]</font>